I still laugh at the memory, even though I wanted to dissolve into the mini-van floor when it happened. There I was, a tired mom in a bright red minivan full of hungry kids, doing my best to order four different meals at Burger King. Except I wasn’t talking to the drive-through speaker. I was talking, with full conviction, to the trash can. Five minutes of orders, corrections, gluten-free requests, and rising irritation… all directed straight into a plastic bin 3 feet short of the actual ordering kiosk. You can watch or listen to the entire story in my podcast, by the way.

And as embarrassing as that moment was, it taught me something that has shaped my entire career. When we are distracted, stressed, or rushing, we lose our ability to authentically connect. Real connection takes focused presence. And in today’s world, where trust is fragile and noise is high, connection is the whole game. Which is exactly why relationship based selling is no longer a bonus. It is the leverage and let me tell you this, the entrepreneurs I know who have mastered this are getting further faster.

What’s Really Going On in the World of Connection

People are worn thin. Their attention is scattered. Their trust has taken a beating. According to the Deloitte Women at Work Report, burnout levels among women continue to rise, which means attention spans are shrinking and patience is disappearing fast. As buying behavior shifts, relationship based selling becomes the anchor that helps you stand out.

Most women entrepreneurs still carry a quiet belief that connection is a under rated skill. Something nice to do if time allows. Something optional. That false belief holds them back more than they realize. When you understand what your customers fear, what they deeply hope for, and what they are incredibly tired of, you stop sounding pushy and start sounding like someone who actually gets them.

The Foundational Shift of Relational Selling

There is a moment in sales when the whole thing accelerates. It happens the minute you move from “How do I convince them?” or “How do I get them to…” to “How do I help them feel safe enough to tell me the truth?”

Relationship based selling starts right there, before you even begin. Not in the pitch. Not in your script. It happens in the precise moment someone feels seen by you. Once they feel that, their guard loosens. Your words land differently. And the conversation stops being a transaction and becomes a partnership.

The Calm, Confident Fix

To build this kind of connection, keep these four steps close:

1. Pay Attention with Intentionality
Regardless of how good you think you are at doing it, you cannot connect deeply while multitasking. Practice conversations ahead of time so you are present when it counts. When you know what you want to say, your mind stays available for the human in front of you.

2. Use Story to Create Safety
Start with a simple, relatable story that addresses a self-limiting belief your audience carries. The Story Brand framework, by Donald Miller, teaches this well. It’s always been a favorite of mine. People lean in when they hear a character with a problem that mirrors their own.

3. Stop Trying to Impress
Connection thrives when you drop the highlight reel and talk about moments that actually shaped you. Every buyer wants to feel understood more than they want to be dazzled.

4. Close with Conviction
A confident invitation is not pressure. It is clarity. When you believe in the transformation, your people feel steadier saying yes.

Why This Works

Relationship based selling taps directly into what your buyers crave: safety, steady leadership, and someone who understands the mess behind their polished exterior. When you build trust early, conversions rise, retention holds, and referrals multiply.

If you want more tools on creating calm confidence in your sales, explore my post on calm selling strategies. It pairs naturally with this article and shows how your nervous system sets the tone for every sales conversation.

You can also read a deeper mindset piece in another category: how to keep going in business when you feel worn out. These two together help you build trust and stamina.

If you want guided practice, templates, and live coaching, come visit the Sales Confidence Lab where us relationship sellers are growing together. It’s a place where we refine your voice, your sales language, and your rhythm of connection.

Try This Today to Increase Relationship Selling

Take one conversation you are scheduled to have this week and rehearse it three times out loud. Then tell a short, true story that mirrors a fear or frustration your buyer carries. You will feel the difference in how they lean in. You will feel the difference in yourself too. And if you want more support, grab your seven day access inside the Sales Confidence Lab.

FAQs about Relationship Selling

• Why is relationship based selling so effective?
  It lowers buyer resistance because people feel understood, not pressured. When trust rises, clarity rises, and decisions get easier.
• Can introverts use relationship based selling?
  Absolutely. Introverts often excel here because they listen deeply and notice details that others miss.
• Does relationship based selling take longer?
  Not really. It removes the back and forth created by hesitation, so sales often speed up instead of slowing down.
• What if I’m new and don’t feel confident yet?
  Confidence grows through practice. Start with one story, one conversation, and one clear invitation. Small reps build big trust.

Written by Genevieve Skory, Sales Confidence Coach and Business Growth Strategist for Female Entrepreneurs.
© 2025 Genevieve Skory